Still kickin'

Hey there... it's me again. Still alive... still not smoking... and still really bad at keeping my many blogs up to date. I thought today might be a good day to start updating them, tho. Or at least updating this one. Why? Because I'm trying to fight off the urge to rip off my clothes and run naked through the streets of East Lansing, and this seemed like the perfect way to keep myself otherwise occupied.

I was looking through some of my old posts. The one about Anna Nicole Smith's son dying caught my eye. I remember when that happened. Something about it seemed so weird and... unfair. Little did I know how much stranger the story was gonna get. Throughout the investigation into Anna Nicole's own death, throughout the fight over who would decide where she would be buried, and throughout the custody battle over her infant daughter, I thought many times about blogging about it all. I figured since I had made a post about the son death, might as well follow the continuing saga. But like most things in my life, I never got around to it.

If you look through my blog, you might notice that there's an awful lot of posts about my not posting in a while. When a person has nothing more to say other than mentioning that they've had nothing to say, is it really worth maintaining a blog? let alone... how ever many blogs I have now... I don't even know anymore. The answer is yes... yes it is. Cuz if I didn't have all these blogs, what would I do on days such as today when I need something to prevent me from breaking the law or otherwise going against the long established norms of society? Hmmm... actually, I go against the long established norms of society on a daily basis regardless... but I don't like breaking the law. So instead, I blog.

Whoops!

It appears I've been slackin off on my bloggin, yo! Hahaha... Well, last month the housing inspector stopped by and gave me two weeks to remove the clutter from my apt. So I was busy doing that. And this month I've been busy with NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, for those who don't know). Yes... I'm writing a novel. It's nothing but a bunch of crap. But by the end of this month I hope to have 50,000 words of crap. Of course I also have my dad's birthday and Thanksgiving coming up. So all of my blogs will no doubt suffer through out the month of November. The of course we get December -- my most dreaded time of the year. Ughh. I'll try to keep up on my blogging, but I'll probably be doing a lot of bitching as it gets closer and closer to Christmas. But then after Christmas... well... that's when the fun begins! As much as I hate Christmas, I love New Years. And I love that week between the two days, as I begin to relax from the hustle and bustle of the Holiday season and start reflecting on the past year and focusing on the New Year to come -- what it will bring, and what I would like to accomplish before the next years end.

Of course every New Years Eve, I also take some time to show respect for Lt. Col. McAllister -- the Army officer who on December 31st, 1986 was stabbed by an enlisted man just outside the P/X at the Presidio of San Francisco as he waited in line at the hot dog stand... and as my friends and I sat at a nearby table. And this year will mark the 20 year anniversary of that event. Hard to believe. But since that day, every year on New Years Eve, no matter what I've been doing, my thoughts have been with the McAllister family.
But anyway... I need to stop writing in here and start writing some more of my trash novel. Until I post again... whenever that may be.

Lost Hope

Wow... the summers seem to be going by faster and faster every year. So much I wanted to accomplish this summer, and I've done... nothing. NOTHING!!! So much I wished to accomplish in my life, and I've done nothing.

I turned 38 one week ago. Do I feel 38? I dunno... I've never been 38 before, so I've really nothing to compare it to. But I will say this -- I feel like I've let my life pass me by. I feel young at heart, yet weary and beaten and oh so jaded. Tonight, my 20 year high school class reunion will be heald... but I won't be there. I've no money to pay the $50 cost. No car to take me there and back. No spouse or children to show off. No degrees or career to boast about. In short, I'm still living the same now, 20 yrs after graduation, as I did at 19, one year after graduation. The only real difference -- at 19, I still had hope.